All things that think are thoughts and all thoughts that think are things.
Ten years ago, I was in high school. As I think about that, I can smell pizza. May be there’s pizza nearby; I am not sure. My unsurety stems from my broken sense of smell. I don’t know where this pizza is, if there is. Is there a way to know? I cannot know. All I know right now is I am procrastinating everything. I think I procrastinated my life away and ten years just went by. I moved so forward so fast; I got lost. Like an invisible speck of dust, falling freely.
Freely. Freedom. Free. I once heard someone say “we are so free we can choose bondage.” I am sick of being free. I don’t enjoy idleness. I am sick of being fearless. Or maybe I fear detachment.
i.e Consciousness = Matter
The other day, there I was, staring into the vastness of the skies. With lights flickering against the backdrop of evening skies just as my hopes do in the bigger picture. The next moment, I could see them fading, my hopes and the lights.
We see through our eyes. But we see through our perspectives. Human perspectives are like decks of cards and each card can trump the previous one.
Once, I saw a shooting star bursting into three. And then I woke up. Once, I was under anesthesia. How fun it is to be unconscious, I often wonder. All dreams and delusions are not illusions but parallel realities. Realities we choose only to soothe ourselves in and out of sleep.
Dreams are labyrinths for the mind.
Can you unbutton my mind? Because eventually, everything comes undone.
And I must not follow all the ‘musts’ of life.
If I could, I would wonder if I should.
Are we just germs on a gigantic mud ball taking trips from the glorified wombs to the mud? Is that what life is?
You wake up from sleep. You go back to sleep. And everything in between is simply you going somewhere else in your minds. Something is always catching and losing your attention. You are always distracted which means all existence is just a distraction from another.
Tomorrow will be a new day with new moments and new moods. Moments so fleeting yet grounding that not all is comprehensible. If I do comprehend, I could be timeless. For time is a beautiful unremitting illusion. The past, the present and the future are all one; the Now. The current that is now and will always be.
And I shall simply be.